8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
