If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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