69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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