PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize