who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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