Don't make out with my wife yet
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
