I love black thongs
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
