I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
