Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
