have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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