i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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