dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
