Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
What drink are we having for lunch?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
