Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
