never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
