his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
