SEEEEXXX PLEASE
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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