What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
