Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
