dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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