So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
You pole danced in your parka.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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