can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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