omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
you traded sex for a burrito?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i drank out of a bidet.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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