wanna go halves on a baby?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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