How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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