my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
