Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
