420 ftw
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
