barbara walters just said penis...
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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