Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
