this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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