i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
