Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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