he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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