whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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