Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I am available for nakedness
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
