i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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