Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
