Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
