I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I need to sanitize my soul.
Randomize
