oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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