I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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