my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
