i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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