So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
