If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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