is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
