so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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