I need to stop coming to work sober
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
It was like giving head to a cactus.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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