Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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