Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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