I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
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How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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