Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
