yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
