Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
