you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Randomize
