When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
The best revenge is premature balding
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
