Can Purell be used as lube?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
This baby is an asshole
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
