I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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