i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
