Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
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