Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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