As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
