i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize