Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I wish you could order shots online.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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