can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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