her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
