someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
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